How did this happen? Don’t we all still love our country? Well, most of us may have united on Monday but by Tuesday evening, we were yet again torn apart by violence with the loss of Alton Sterling. In the midst of our grieving, it happens again – immediately – the next evening with the death of Philando Castile.

And on day 3, we see the violence elevate, in an act of retaliation, to the Dallas Police and Dallas Transit Police in a random shooting event.

No wonder our emerging adult population is feeling less patriotic than we do. While we always knew this type of thing was happening, we did not watch the graphic video of it in real time. We did not watch a man bleed out and die in real time while his girlfriend and a 4 year old child are sitting in the car.

Technology has transformed how we view all of these events. Our youth do not feel safe in their society. They are probably less color blind than any generation before them as they grow with diversity in our country. They just cannot stomach what they see and they are becoming more cynical by the day.

Our great experiment of democracy is at risk. The candidates for President and an extremely unpleasant Congress are partly to blame. People very much feel that their vote doesn’t matter anymore and if I hear one more person tell me they won’t vote this year, I will punch them. I always try to remind them there is much more on the ballot than president.

We must find a way to continue the great experiment of America. (I refuse to call it ” ‘merica” as is so popular these days.) We must vote. We must educate. We must grieve for those lives lost. Black lives do matter. We have to start finding solutions to the challenges we face.

Raising a generation of hardened cynics will not help us do that. For the sake of everyone, can we please find a way to unite?

One of my favorite quotes:

“The ship of democracy, which has weathered all storms, may ultimately sink by the mutiny of those on board.” Grover Cleveland.

For my black friends, former students and all people of color – please tell us how to help. We do not walk in your shoes but we love you and want to help.

For all families and victims of random violence, our thoughts and prayers are with you. How can we help?

To the law enforcement officers who strive to protect most of us, we grieve your individual losses. How can we help?

It may be time for another “Hands Across America” movement.

I’m so sad. I grieve for our youth, the lives of innocent victims and our law enforcement community.

My family went last summer and we had a wonderful time. We hit 6 theme parks in 5 days! It was amazing. EVERYONE is welcome, as long as you are spending money. We saw so much diversity in the theme parks and so many languages we couldn’t even identify some of them. It is a truly happy place.

Not this week. Another act of random violence has taken over happy town and left the world grieving. I could not even process this loss initially. I’m writing now to help myself and hopefully a few others work through their grief.

This is not a political post, gun discussion or discrimination rant. It is not about anyone’s religion or other controversial topics. I hope it just stops and makes us think a little.

Mass shootings in America have become so regular that as a society, we may be numbing to them somewhat. Everyone was heartbroken after Aurora and many people stopped going to movie theaters. It lasted about a month. We were devastated when a shooter took out elementary students in Newtown, Connecticut. We prayed and shared our thoughts with families just prior to the holidays and then went on with our comfortable lives.

These events seem to occur every few months. They have not all been committed by “terrorists”. Yet that is how we react when we hear a name that sounds different. Maybe it is true but let’s hear the facts first.

The Oklahoma bomber was a simple, American country boy and he took many lives. The Newtown shooter and Aurora were also Americans, or “domestic terrorists”.

The bottom line is that these events keep coming. President Obama had said after the San Bernadino events that he “hoped and prayed that he did not have to do this again”, meaning address the press after a shooting.

A couple of weeks ago, a Professor at UCLA was shot. This one hit close to home as open carry begins on the UH main campus this fall, where I teach. A student’s anger can be very challenging to manage.

But Orlando punched me in the stomach. It was the “gay” community that got hit and “Latins” and “Gay Latins”. REALLY? Let’s drop all the labeling. It was 49 mostly young people enjoying their lives and letting off steam. It was 53 more injured young people and more than 300 fully traumatized. It was parents losing their children, no matter their age. It was mothers receiving texts from captured children telling them they loved them as they waited to die. How much pain can we tolerate?

I had to remove myself from social media channels over the weekend. Just a week before, I attended the HATCH prom as a sponsor while my daughter and her many friends enjoyed a prom without the pressures that school proms create. They danced freely and let their spirits fly. Another mother and I watched from the VIP room as our kids had the time of their lives. How vulnerable were we? Thankfully, there were four off-duty officers outside. I never considered safety an issue with this event.

My child is different. That has not changed the fact that I love her with all my heart and soul. Love her with every inch of my being, as many mothers do. This event also hurt her and made her question her own safety.

Let’s just pause: Stop with the hate, the victimization, the politics of it all, and grieve for families who have been torn apart by this tragedy. Rest assured that the news will dissect it until the next big story comes along or the next random act of violence. I will respond with random acts of kindness.

What will you do?

Things were flying in January. I was working hard, eating healthier, and working new business. Lily was participating in debate and doing well at school in the second half of her Freshman year in high school.

Then, on January 29, I went to pick Lily up from a debate tournament. I tripped over an unmarked speed hump in the school’s parking lot and landed very hard. I had a concussion, bit through my lips, a black-eye and most importantly, a shattered right arm. In the word of the paramedics that arrived after someone called 9-1-1, “that arm is deformed.”

In fact, a part of the elbow shattered and a bone that was connected to the elbow shattered. Within days, I had major surgery to repair my arm. For much of this spring, I have been limping along with my arm. Writing has been challenging – either by hand (barely impossible) and typing. I can now comfortably type for short periods of time.

The wonders of Occupational Therapy and amazing medical care have helped me to heal better than most. My doc keeps telling me that I’m about 3 months ahead of where she expected  me to be. I keep telling her I’m an over-achiever and will be as best as the healing process allows. Count me blessed.

It’s not completely healed and will not likely be fully recovered for over a year. That’s o.k.. I’m functioning and back to writing.

There are too many things happening in the political world for me to lose my voice any longer. While I was down, prohibited from driving and not doing much at all, I spent some time watching politics on the news and primary debates. While it is a bit of a blur, I had some fun and spent time yelling at the television.

So, just an update to say I’m back and will be once again regaling you all with my take on the political world.

Stay tuned.

My Dad was truly an amazing man though mostly just appeared to be humble and normal. For the most part, he was. He worked hard to support his family, he was kind and patient and followed the rules.

But there was so much more. Growing up with him was a true blessing for me. He was the kind one and didn’t like the discipline part of being a father very much. He had the patience of Job as he managed to teach me to drive and when my own politics began to develop, vastly different from his own.

He blessed me with so many East Texas “country” sayings that I find myself using them in the work place today to the shock and awe of younger team members.

Dad was funny. He had a way of teaching life lessons without being harsh. When I was blessed with a car, he made me learn to change the tires and the oil. “If you are going to have a car, you have to know how to take care of it”, he would say. Don’t ask me to do this today but I was whiz at it through my college years.

Dad was a chain smoker and that is what took his life in the end, though he hadn’t smoked in more than 30+ years. He wanted to make sure I didn’t pick up the habit. When he picked me up from school in the 6th grade and saw some friends smoking (hey it was the 70’s), he asked me if I might want to try one. He and my Mom both smoked so I said sure. He made me inhale that thing until I threw up and I never wanted a cigarette again in my life. That was how he handled things.

As a young adult, I leaned on my Dad for financial and career advice. My hard work ethic came from him. He worked hard and considered it a priorty to support your family. He was dedicated and pulled double shifts at the plant anytime he could. He would tell me it would mean more money for college. In the last few years, he would tell me I worked too much and I would remind him where I learned it.

When my child was born, it was probably the greatest thing that had happened to him. Becoming a grandfather was the highlight event of his life. He rejoiced in that kid and spoiled her rotten. He would sit on the floor for hours playing with the child and later initiated weekly trips to McDonald’s. No one could take the kid to McDonald’s but him so it was a real treat. As she grew, he rejoiced in her every achievement.

Most of all, my Dad was kind. His kindess permeated everything he did. He was always kind and would stop to pick up a puppy off the side of the road or to help one of the neighborhood boys who might not have been so blessed as I was. As he moved to eldercare, he was kind to everyone and they all treasured him.

I was so lucky to grow up with my Dad. I thank my lucky stars for him every day. He helped make me the person I have become.

And that, my friends, is how the “cow ate the cabbage.”

Many of you know me well and follow my myriad of activities on Facebook but you may not have put this all together.

In 2014, the higher power decided that I still have much to learn. In the midst of the major debate at City Hall regarding the Houston Equal Rights Ordinance, I was facing a personal struggle at home.

Last spring, my child informed me that the wrong gender had been assisgned at birth. My child is 13 so I initially did not take the conversation very seriously. In fact, I just kind of ignored the idea. This could not possibly happen to my precious miracle from heaven.

In all honesty, it was not that I oppose transgender people or any people with differences. I accept people at face value. But motherly instinct took hold and in the quiet of night, I feared what this could mean for my precious child. All I could think about was the hard path that we would travel and the fear grew greater each day.

Being my child, of course she would not let go of the discussion. She kept discussing, teaching and explaining to me. Some days it was hard to tell the parent from the child.

Finally, between one of my Dad’s hospital stays (9 this year), I sat down and began doing my own research as any educated person should. It did not take me long to learn how dangerous it could be for transgender kids if they are not accepted.

I love my child more than anything on planet Earth. Having my child in my life is more important than any possible challenges we could face. The suicide rates among transgender people range as high as 40+ percent and when it narrows down to transgender teens, it is even higher. In most cases, suicide is a result of lack of acceptance. Finally, I was whacked over the head by one of my favorite things – data.

It was the turning point. I reached out to several resources and placed my child with the proper professionals. Did you know that we have adolescent transgender pediatricians in Houston? I sure didn’t and there are many other amazing resources in our city. Thank goodness we live in Houston.

By mid-summer, my child began presenting as female. We met with her school and a number of friends were made aware. It took me a while to begin sharing the news. I kept it very close until mid-fall. I gradually began telling people.

This is a life-long journey we have embarked on together. I have so much to learn. I’m happy to share with you much of what I have learned so far if you have questions.

I know there are many people in our community who do not accept differences easily. Probably one of the most surprising things I have learned is that even those who have fought for equality over the years, have not been as accepting as I would have thought. I have had people walk away from me. I also hear the mutterings of “bad parenting”. I’m not bothered as it just shows how little they know.

This is what I know. I love my child unconditionally. Maybe sometimes “unconditionally” can be pushed to the limits but that is our way of growing and expanding our own minds. I accept my child as who she is and who she wants to be in the future. I have also learned that my child is very brave and courageous to admit who she is and share it with the world. My heart bursts with pride.

I’m also proud of our family and friends who have embraced her and surrounded her with love and acceptance.

Now, I say goodbye for 2014 and look forward to experiencing 2015 with my daughter. She’ll start high school this year. We’re looking forward to new adventures.

I first met Bob Lanier in the “smoke-filled” rooms when I worked for powerful leaders of Texas. I was often the driver or just the campaign aide along for the ride, sitting quietly in rooms that were filled with such power, I had stars in my eyes. Bob Lanier was one of those people. Even in the 80’s, he was a powerhouse. In his folksy, aw shucks style, he would determine who would be a leader or the direction of complex legislation. Personally, I was in awe of him.

When he was appointed to the Texas Highway Commission, we began calling him “Commissioner” as a sign of respect. We had such hopes that he would bring highway funds to Houston and that he did. He took his responsibility of fighting for funds in our city seriously. By the way, he was a Democratic appointee.

As his term ended, Mayor Whitmire appointed him to Chair the Board of Metro in Houston. The thought was that he could help garner federal funds and move rail forward. Alas, this was not a good move for Mayor Whitmire. She ultimately fired him. When he was appointed, I worked for Mayor Whitmire on appointments to Boards and Commissions. I left before their spat emerged.

He was so angry with her that he sought to find a candidate to defeat her. His position as a “power broker” in the city was stronger than ever. In those days, there was still a newtwork of mostly white males that directed the city from backrooms, with the best of intentions.

When he failed to be satisfied with the field of candidates, he entered the race late. He defeated Sylvester Turner on the news of a very nagative story that most believed his team was responsible for releasing. While he was thrilled to be elected, he always felt a little bad about defeating what would have been Houston’s firt Afircan-American mayor. He spent his entire term healing wounds and building up the African-American community. He also ensured that the next Mayor would be Afircan-American and appointed many black leaders in his administration.

Bob Lanier was also our firs term-limited Mayor and his success made many people question whether term-limits were such a good idea but City Council of the era reinforced their position. Lanier faced challenges from a number of younger Council Members that were elected in his second and third terms. All of them grew under his tutelage and most importantly, learned leadership.

For leadership is the one word that captures Bob Lanier more than any other. From his time in the military to his time in law and as a developer, he has been a leader. He always considered betterment of the state and city as an important part of his job. He took unpopular positions and if he believed enough, he would roll over anyone who got in his way while he advocated for change. Most people never even saw these contributions.

While he is most recognized for being Mayor of Houston, it was really just an encapsulation of stepping into the limelight for something he had always done.

Houstonians adored him. Business leaders respected him. He and Elyse made major contributions to the city’s parks (they supported parks before it was cool) and many other charities.

Most importantly, I knew him as a father too. He loved his family unconditionally and he loved many others as if they were family. His home was always open and his laughter would roar across the city.

Thank you Mayor Bob – you were among the last of a breed of civic leaders that put Houston first in your heart!

Blessings to the entire Lanier family.

The release of a video of Rice striking his then-fiance in an elevator has garnered wide-spread attention and debate. Should a very talented football player be punished for this action? If the NFL had information on this, why didn’t they act sooner? Did she deserve it?

The questions tap into our very complex assessments of gender rules and relationship perspectives. It forces a complex debate that is often held in private to take center stage and it has revealed that we still carry very complicated feelings about domestic violence.

It has hurt my heart in many ways to watch this discussion. Bringing social media into the complexity of domestic violence is challenging. It is hard to describe in 140 characters or less, the deep-rooted challenges of living in a relationship fraught with violence.

We have been discussing the issue in my class this week and it has been fascinating to hear the perspectives of my students. For they are a generation that doesn’t remember when it was legal to hit or rape your wife and indeed, common. Domestic Violence laws in Texas are not that old and have been evolving over the last 30 to 40 years.

If a wife is considered property, you had the right to treat her as you desired. For today’s independent and strong young women, these ideas are foreign. The biggest challenge seems to be a basic question in their minds – why doesn’t she just leave? She can walk out if she wants to, they say. It seems a new way of saying, “she deserves it.”

Domestic violence is still very present in our society. 1 out of 4 women will have some experience with it in their lifetimes. That means that most everyone is touched. It is also blind to race, economic status and cultures. It sees no barrier between poverty and wealth and it sees no color. It penetrates our society deeply.

Let’s stop with the victim blaming and teach our children that it is not o.k. to hit anyone. Period. It is most definitely not o.k. to hit someone who is less powerful than you and cannot fight back. These are basic playground rules. It is not o.k.

No matter what a child does or a woman does or a man does, responding with a punch to the face is not the way to solve the problem.

I want to thank TMZ (never thought I would say that) for bringing this debate out in the open. The Rices are just a representation of millions of families in America today.

Let me caution to exercise care when discussing this issue. “We don’t know the full story” is code word for “she deserved it”. “She hit him first” is code word for “she deserved it”. “It’s really none of our business” is code word for “it’s their problem and a man can do what he wants”. “She hit the rail and that’s what knocked her out” is code word for “he didn’t mean it”. People, he punched her, watched her collapse on the floor and very nearly let the elevator doors close on her limp body. He did not lovingly pick her up and gently carry her to their room. No one deserves to be treated the way we saw in that video.

If you or someone you know is in need of advice, guidance or help with domestic violence, please contact the Houston Area Women’s Center at 713.528.2121 or click here.

October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. I’ll be wearing purple to honor victims. Will you?

However, as you know, this blogger often focuses on women’s issues and for that, we must pause to say “Thanks Joan Rivers”.

To a current generation, Rivers became almost a caricature of herself. It is hard for young women to even begin to grasp how far she has come and how much change she brought to women in comedy, television and fashion.

Rivers was college educated in the 50’s and did not immediately marry. That was the first indication we had she might be a bit different. Like many educated women, she struggled to find her place. With a particular style of humor, she worked in comedy clubs in Greenwich Village and any place that would have her.

Frankly, women comedians are still outnumbered significantly today. It is harder for us to think of women as humorous – especially when they have a biting humor as Rivers did.

But Rivers garnered fame in the 60’s with frequent appearances on Johnny Carson. She busted through the glass ceiling and actually made people laugh on late night television. She also wrote and acted. She had her own show for many years.

Let’s just look at late night television today. We have had a recent shift with retirements from long-time hosts. The replacements do not include a single woman among them or even their side kicks. Sigh…….

So, Thanks Joan Rivers. Thanks for busting the glass ceiling for women, bucking the age barrier and keeping it real for all these years.

I love the start of a new semester and a new school year. We get to make all new resolutions and the students come ready to conquer the world. It will be an exciting semester for me to teach Women in Politics with female candidates all over ballots this year and a few females talking presidential politics as well.

It’s also back to politics. As families get the kids back to school, they will slowly tune back in to politics. Most consider Labor Day the official kick-off of the political season and that is probably still accurate. However, in the world of permanent campaigns, it is really the final stretch for the candidates.

We’ll keep our eye on happenings in Texas and Harris County with an occasional glance across the country, when appropriate. It has been a volatile summer on many levels. Will issues such as Ferguson stir more voters to the polls? Will significant areas of international unrest cause more Americans to pay attention to their divided home government who can’t agree on solutions?

Wendy Davis, Democratic Candidate for Governor, has already launched attack ads on her opponent who seems to be basically ignoring her presence. Abbott’s strategy worked well for Rick Perry in the past. He is clearly operating on the theory that recognizing your opponent empowers them.

Meanwhile, the Lt. Governor’s race seems to have captured more attention than Governor. After an embattled and bitter Republican primary, Dan Patrick has taken the summer to shore up his base and refill his campaign coffers. Leticia Van de Putte, the Democratic nominee, has been making tracks all across Texas and trying to inspire lackluster voters that the election matters.

In Harris County, we have a heated race for District Attorney between two female candidates – incumbent Devon Anderson (R) and challenger Kim Ogg (D). They have already garnered media attention and the race proves to be one of the most interesting battles in a county that splits its votes.

Harris County is one of the few in the state that remains in play as a “swing” county. We should see lots of action this year.

So happy back to school to all and back to more traffic, too. Welcome to a heated Texas political season!

As we all know,  September 11, our nation was attacked.   I will never forget the moment.  I was holding my 6 month old in my arms before I headed out for morning meetings and was tuned in to Good Morning America.

The main thing I will always remember about that day was the amazing images of our first responders, fire fighters and police.  When everyone was rushing out, they were rushing in to save as many people as they could.  Many lost their lives as a result.

Recently, my son was asking me about the day.  We had visited the site in New York a few years ago.  I realized that he didn’t know there were attacks elsewhere and we engaged in a deep conversation about the day.  While it has always been a part of his life, I was stunned at how little he actually knew.

For most of us, it feels like it happened yesterday.  For him, it was literally a lifetime ago.  He is old enough now to understand and learn more about it.  While he has no memory of the actual event, he and his generation will forever by seriously effected by what happened that day.

So as we pause for a moment of silence today for the events that occurred in New York, Pennsylvania and Washington D.C., let’s take time to be sure the younger generation understands what happened and how it felt for all of us.

In honor of all of those who lost their lives on 9/11/01 and those that have continued to fight for our freedom.