How did this happen? Don’t we all still love our country? Well, most of us may have united on Monday but by Tuesday evening, we were yet again torn apart by violence with the loss of Alton Sterling. In the midst of our grieving, it happens again – immediately – the next evening with the death of Philando Castile.

And on day 3, we see the violence elevate, in an act of retaliation, to the Dallas Police and Dallas Transit Police in a random shooting event.

No wonder our emerging adult population is feeling less patriotic than we do. While we always knew this type of thing was happening, we did not watch the graphic video of it in real time. We did not watch a man bleed out and die in real time while his girlfriend and a 4 year old child are sitting in the car.

Technology has transformed how we view all of these events. Our youth do not feel safe in their society. They are probably less color blind than any generation before them as they grow with diversity in our country. They just cannot stomach what they see and they are becoming more cynical by the day.

Our great experiment of democracy is at risk. The candidates for President and an extremely unpleasant Congress are partly to blame. People very much feel that their vote doesn’t matter anymore and if I hear one more person tell me they won’t vote this year, I will punch them. I always try to remind them there is much more on the ballot than president.

We must find a way to continue the great experiment of America. (I refuse to call it ” ‘merica” as is so popular these days.) We must vote. We must educate. We must grieve for those lives lost. Black lives do matter. We have to start finding solutions to the challenges we face.

Raising a generation of hardened cynics will not help us do that. For the sake of everyone, can we please find a way to unite?

One of my favorite quotes:

“The ship of democracy, which has weathered all storms, may ultimately sink by the mutiny of those on board.” Grover Cleveland.

For my black friends, former students and all people of color – please tell us how to help. We do not walk in your shoes but we love you and want to help.

For all families and victims of random violence, our thoughts and prayers are with you. How can we help?

To the law enforcement officers who strive to protect most of us, we grieve your individual losses. How can we help?

It may be time for another “Hands Across America” movement.

I’m so sad. I grieve for our youth, the lives of innocent victims and our law enforcement community.

My family went last summer and we had a wonderful time. We hit 6 theme parks in 5 days! It was amazing. EVERYONE is welcome, as long as you are spending money. We saw so much diversity in the theme parks and so many languages we couldn’t even identify some of them. It is a truly happy place.

Not this week. Another act of random violence has taken over happy town and left the world grieving. I could not even process this loss initially. I’m writing now to help myself and hopefully a few others work through their grief.

This is not a political post, gun discussion or discrimination rant. It is not about anyone’s religion or other controversial topics. I hope it just stops and makes us think a little.

Mass shootings in America have become so regular that as a society, we may be numbing to them somewhat. Everyone was heartbroken after Aurora and many people stopped going to movie theaters. It lasted about a month. We were devastated when a shooter took out elementary students in Newtown, Connecticut. We prayed and shared our thoughts with families just prior to the holidays and then went on with our comfortable lives.

These events seem to occur every few months. They have not all been committed by “terrorists”. Yet that is how we react when we hear a name that sounds different. Maybe it is true but let’s hear the facts first.

The Oklahoma bomber was a simple, American country boy and he took many lives. The Newtown shooter and Aurora were also Americans, or “domestic terrorists”.

The bottom line is that these events keep coming. President Obama had said after the San Bernadino events that he “hoped and prayed that he did not have to do this again”, meaning address the press after a shooting.

A couple of weeks ago, a Professor at UCLA was shot. This one hit close to home as open carry begins on the UH main campus this fall, where I teach. A student’s anger can be very challenging to manage.

But Orlando punched me in the stomach. It was the “gay” community that got hit and “Latins” and “Gay Latins”. REALLY? Let’s drop all the labeling. It was 49 mostly young people enjoying their lives and letting off steam. It was 53 more injured young people and more than 300 fully traumatized. It was parents losing their children, no matter their age. It was mothers receiving texts from captured children telling them they loved them as they waited to die. How much pain can we tolerate?

I had to remove myself from social media channels over the weekend. Just a week before, I attended the HATCH prom as a sponsor while my daughter and her many friends enjoyed a prom without the pressures that school proms create. They danced freely and let their spirits fly. Another mother and I watched from the VIP room as our kids had the time of their lives. How vulnerable were we? Thankfully, there were four off-duty officers outside. I never considered safety an issue with this event.

My child is different. That has not changed the fact that I love her with all my heart and soul. Love her with every inch of my being, as many mothers do. This event also hurt her and made her question her own safety.

Let’s just pause: Stop with the hate, the victimization, the politics of it all, and grieve for families who have been torn apart by this tragedy. Rest assured that the news will dissect it until the next big story comes along or the next random act of violence. I will respond with random acts of kindness.

What will you do?

Many of you know me well and follow my myriad of activities on Facebook but you may not have put this all together.

In 2014, the higher power decided that I still have much to learn. In the midst of the major debate at City Hall regarding the Houston Equal Rights Ordinance, I was facing a personal struggle at home.

Last spring, my child informed me that the wrong gender had been assisgned at birth. My child is 13 so I initially did not take the conversation very seriously. In fact, I just kind of ignored the idea. This could not possibly happen to my precious miracle from heaven.

In all honesty, it was not that I oppose transgender people or any people with differences. I accept people at face value. But motherly instinct took hold and in the quiet of night, I feared what this could mean for my precious child. All I could think about was the hard path that we would travel and the fear grew greater each day.

Being my child, of course she would not let go of the discussion. She kept discussing, teaching and explaining to me. Some days it was hard to tell the parent from the child.

Finally, between one of my Dad’s hospital stays (9 this year), I sat down and began doing my own research as any educated person should. It did not take me long to learn how dangerous it could be for transgender kids if they are not accepted.

I love my child more than anything on planet Earth. Having my child in my life is more important than any possible challenges we could face. The suicide rates among transgender people range as high as 40+ percent and when it narrows down to transgender teens, it is even higher. In most cases, suicide is a result of lack of acceptance. Finally, I was whacked over the head by one of my favorite things – data.

It was the turning point. I reached out to several resources and placed my child with the proper professionals. Did you know that we have adolescent transgender pediatricians in Houston? I sure didn’t and there are many other amazing resources in our city. Thank goodness we live in Houston.

By mid-summer, my child began presenting as female. We met with her school and a number of friends were made aware. It took me a while to begin sharing the news. I kept it very close until mid-fall. I gradually began telling people.

This is a life-long journey we have embarked on together. I have so much to learn. I’m happy to share with you much of what I have learned so far if you have questions.

I know there are many people in our community who do not accept differences easily. Probably one of the most surprising things I have learned is that even those who have fought for equality over the years, have not been as accepting as I would have thought. I have had people walk away from me. I also hear the mutterings of “bad parenting”. I’m not bothered as it just shows how little they know.

This is what I know. I love my child unconditionally. Maybe sometimes “unconditionally” can be pushed to the limits but that is our way of growing and expanding our own minds. I accept my child as who she is and who she wants to be in the future. I have also learned that my child is very brave and courageous to admit who she is and share it with the world. My heart bursts with pride.

I’m also proud of our family and friends who have embraced her and surrounded her with love and acceptance.

Now, I say goodbye for 2014 and look forward to experiencing 2015 with my daughter. She’ll start high school this year. We’re looking forward to new adventures.

Now is our chance!  Houston is a finalist for a grant from Bloomberg Philanthropies that will allow “ONE BIN FOR ALL”.  It would transform garbage collection in Houston and help us to significantly reduce waste.

According to the City’s own press release,  “With One Bin for All, residents can put soda cans, paper, plastic, food scraps, rubber, wood and glass into one bin-then technology does the rest!  By relying on state of the art technology and new process systems to sort trash from recycling, Houston would be able to achieve recycling rates of up to 75 percent. ”

Here is the link:  http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/02/19/vote-mayors-challenge.

Come on friends and fans!  This is a contest and Houston is one of the largest cities in the mix.  We can certainly muster the most votes and win this thing!  Imagine Houston being a leader in recycling.

That would certainly boost our image of a hip, cool city!

You can vote more than once and you have through March 6.  PLEASE VOTE NOW AND AGAIN AND AGAIN!  http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/02/19/vote-mayors-challenge.

Let’s do this thing!

We usually attend the movies on Friday nights to help us kick off our weekend. My son was at sleep away camp this past week and we weren’t able to take in Batman on opening night.

I was so relieved that he was isolated from the news of a random man walking into the Batman premiere and senselessly murdering people and injuring so many more. These American events that seem to happen every couple of years always leave me distressed but this one struck me deeply.

It was just so wrong to interrupt one of our greatest pastimes and our place of escape. So many people waited so long for this last movie in a series that deals with one of our favorite comic book characters.

When my son, 11, arrived home from camp, I struggled with telling him the news. I knew he would hear it at any point so I decided to come forth with the straight information and keep the constant TV coverage off at the house. He asked a few questions, such as “why would someone do that?” and we talked it through.

Then, in protest of any danger, we gathered ourselves up and went to see “The Dark Knight Rises.” Apparently, the rest of Houston was unaffected as well because the movie was sold out through the evening. We waited for the next showing, stood in a long line, sat in a fully packed theater and enjoyed our fantasy world.

This particular incident in Colorado left me very sad. At times, I think we have become calloused by our own American born terrorists and we write off the events as just “crazy and troubled” people, which is clearly accurate.

Still, people lost their lives in this incident and many more will never be the same. Let us pause and grieve for those involved, for the system that breeds these actions, and for ourselves.

I’m still thankful for the gift of entertainment and the escapism it provides.

It is an interesting experience when the kid is out of the house. Everything seems quieter, the mornings move slower, the computer is available and the morning bombardment of questions contemplating serious life philosophy is absent.

Yet, we miss him terribly. It all feels so empty when he’s not here. At 10, he has begun to pull away more and strike his independence. We are in that stage when he is at one minute our precious little boy and the next he is rolling his eyes and saying “Mom” with exasperation.

I’m pondering the path of growth and development and how it amazes me that parents naturally push the kids along – such as “away” camp. We encourage their independence by pushing them to spend time away from us.

We spent this weekend in the hill country with our close friends. We are godparents to each other’s children and the boys (6 weeks apart) go to camp together. It was a truly wonderful get away that embraced the precious family time we all seem to lack in today’s hectic world.

We canoed, swam, played on a natural water slide and valued the time we had together. The kids loved it and it was a good send-off for camp. Our location lacked any kind of cell service and that was truly a blessing for all involved.

Now we have one week where the house is empty and we are left to ponder our own philosophical morning thoughts and questions…………

At the ripe age of 41, I learned that pregnancy is a great time to begin adjusting to the changes that are coming to your life. And, what a change!!!!

The minute I held that precious baby in my arms, my life changed forever. I have never loved anyone so much.

To Hunter, I say thank you! Thanks for making me slow down and appreciate the gifts that life brings.

For there is nothing like taking a walk with a toddler and every leaf, acorn or bird is a point of discovery. You see things completely differently through the eyes of a child.

As he has grown, he constantly challenges my mind to think about things differently – asking the questions that cause me to pause and think of the best way to answer but also causing me to evaluate my own thoughts on the matter – religion, war, families, education, music and so much more. The “why” is never-ending with my Mr. Curiosity.

In the last 10 years, we have gone from precious baby to rambunctious toddler, to solemn pre-schooler, to adventuresome elementary school child and fun-loving kid. Now, we enter the double digits and watch our son enter his next decade where the adventure part will become ever more dominant.

But the joy will always be the same. His presence in my life brings me strength, courage, happiness and joy.

That’s why I’m still riding roller coasters!

Happy Birthday Hunter!